Following a brain hemorrhage I was badly depressed for an age. I was going to step in front of a train, and I'm forever grateful to the oldish man who just put his hand on my arm and suggested I didn't. I wish your friend Dave had been as lucky as me. http://jovisgoes.com/2014/01/31/he-remembers/
@jovisgoesnuts@21schizoid My heart aches for those very near and dear to me who are, even now, being hounded by the black dog. Thanks for sharing your stories. We should never take anything or anyone for granted. Life is so precious and can be so fragile.
Oh - that's very sad - I hate to think of anybody so desparate and alone - and my heart bleeds .. .@jovisgoesnuts - I'm so pleased the touch of a stranger bought you back . . . your poem was beautifull and tragic : ) Big hugs to you all xx
@lindatee@heatherrings@jovisgoesnuts I was completely unaware that David had any form of depression. I believe as many do, in public, he hid it brilliantly. I've since discovered from those closest to him, privately, there were many varied, though sometimes small signs. Thankfully, I can't get my mind where David's must have been, but as Joe I think alludes to, it was not a place of clarity. Joe, your writings are stunning. Thank you for guiding me there. Thanks for all your lovely words...xxx
@21schizoid I just went through a very similar episode. One of my oldest friends decided that the perfect ending to his unwritten biography as a tortured artist was to go out with a bang. The problem here is that while he no longer has any worries, he leaves behind a trail of psychic debris for those who loved him. The only way to deal with loss is to remember the good times and not the bad. I know I'm rambling, but talking is good therapy.
@curtywyshart Thanks Curty. When I attended David's funeral, I did sense a lot of underlying anger. He did leave behind a wife and two teenage kids, on all of whom, he doted. That in itself encapsulates the total misunderstanding, those of us who (thankfully) have never experienced depression, harbour. My take on Dave, was that he was 100% clear on his actions, but 100% unclear on his reasoning. He would never have committed that act, if he'd been thinking clearly of the overall consequences...
...so, that anger, was simply confusion and frustration. I think Joe @jovisgoesnuts is in a better place to guide us here and wonderfully, is here to tell the tale, so eloquently. You're right. Talking through these things is indeed, great therapy. TIMJ is more than a music posting site (certainly for me) and contact like this, proves my assertion. I truly appreciate your words and I hope you don't live to regret that kind invitation...I do ramble on a tad, don't I...;-)
@heatherrings a postscript...how right you are about the preciousness and fragility of life. We forget every day, but it's remarkable how, if we walk around with our hearts, minds, eyes and ears open, we'll receive daily reminders... x
@lindatee a postscript...I struggled a lot with the thought of David being so desperate and so alone, when giving up on life. However, I posted an upbeat toon, 'cos that's how I like to think of my friend. Those great, fun days will always be uppermost in my mind. That's how we all cope, I guess... x
@21schizoid ...just an extra thought. My illness and following depression were a one time ago and I've had illnesses since, heart related these days. Indeed I'm in my local hospital as I write this, awaiting the second of two MPI scans. One thing that I learned though, is that if you feel sad or down or you suffer from a prescribed form of depression, the best thing you can possibly do is talk about it, and the worst is bottle it up. Also, if you love someone, really love them.
@daved There speaks one of many, undone by weather, gravel rash and an aluminium stud under the shinpad on a baltic East Kilbride Saturday afternoon... :-)
@natyblooming Like I've said Natalia, although David's passing was and still is, incredibly sad and painful, I wanted to get it out there, so to speak and post a JoyJam. That's how he always appears in my thoughts... :-)
@natyblooming I posted this without any expectation that fellow Jamsters would want to comment, but it's been an amazing trip thus far. I know you've been through some 'stuff', though this is another branch of 'stuff'. In it's own wee way, this is what I love about the folks I follow on TIMJ. Yes, it's about the music, but it's way more than that and it explains why I like to say some bits&bobs; when I post. It's music Natalia, but not as we know it...;-)
@VickyMB1970 Thanks Vic. Really appreciate your comments. It's a fine disc...I can see us all makin' a complete horlicks of ourselves on the dancefloor...plus ca change... ;-)
@natyblooming That makes it a major chord struck...and I suspected you might have (came to me just as I posted my last comment to you). You girly, are like Joe @jovisgoesnuts ... a bloomin' marvel!! :-)
@21schizoid Sad story old friend - I'm sorry. But pleased you have some joyful memories to carry with you and a great "JoyJam" to fondly remember him... :-)
@21schizoid I wanted to reply immediately to your 'postscript' but I was at work at the time and couldn't respond. This is the first real opportunity I've had to catch up with all the other posts on here. I have found it all very moving.
@21schizoid My own dear Hubby has battled depression for years. And no, it's not because he has had to put up with me for the last 33 years....he's suffered since his teens, before he met me. He is, I think, I hope, coming out of a low period at the moment. It is upsetting and frustrating for us both when he is in a place when even his beloved HiFi and music don't interest him. I can do nothing other than be there for him, to listen and to love him.
@21schizoid I asked him if he would mind if I shared about him on here. His answer - "I don't mind if you mention depression, it's nothing to be ashamed about." I applaud him for that and agree with him. It is sad that for many it is a taboo subject. I want to thank you everyone else who has commented on here. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has found it a help and a comfort. Big hug xxx
@heatherrings Hey missus! As you can imagine, when I posted this, I didn't anticipate the response and even though TIMJ is music first, it's proven again to be a wee platform for all manner of things. For what it's worth, I had a feeling that something was not quite right for Hubs, but not for me or anyone else to pursue. He's right. Depression is 'nowt to be ashamed of. Seems to be, sadly, rather prevalent. Anyhoo, we're all one big group huddle...
@heatherrings...and it would appear, chums enough to share just about anything (in my case from past Jams, everybloominthing!) Everyone's been brilliant here and if I ever had doubts about the worth of this forum, they're most certainly gone...though I still reserve the right for occasional cave moments...thinking time!! Hope your boy's mojo is back real soon. Tell him from me, to spin those wheels of steel. I await the resultant Jam... ;-) xx
@heatherrings Hope you don't mind that I'm commenting, I got very touched by what you wrote... I so agree with you, and I firmly believe that acknowledging something is one of the best attitudes we can have in order to deal with a situation like this. When we acknowledge it, we can act on it (at least is how I see...). Also agree on TIMJ! Could never believe it would grow so big on me - I'm thankful for so many great people (and songs) I came acrros here! =)x
@21schizoid I hope there isn't a limit on the number of posts you can have per jam. I know I have been guilty sometimes of excessive chatter but half of Jamworld seems to congregate on your page. Which is rather nice. Your little tales obviously resonate with a lot of jammers. That or you have some extraordinary magnetic superpower. ;-) xx
@BladeRunner Thank you for your comments. I, too,have found TIMJ to be, on the whole, a very friendly place. It is lovely to be able to connect with some like minded people with whom you can enthuse about something - whether it be a song or a band or something else entirely (usually food in my case). Happy jamming! :-)
youre obviously a few years below me..80s i worked!!! i do remember this track tho,havnt heard it for.....it did stick,so i did remember the words and enjoyed,but your words cast shadows,so my mind was back there* and another bit was enjoying your music....we all have them,the lucky ones get to forget...
@heatherrings Me? Magnetic superpower?? Ha! I rather like that!! I prefer to think my high levels of erudition, lure like-minded intellectuals to my Jam Portal...actually, folks just can't believe the utter rubbish I write, so they feel duty bound to respond! Whatever the reason may be, I love it that ma' Jamsters feel they can 'rabbit' on any subject over here & if we're all laughing or crying, we do it as a group of music lovers, who also have very real lives & multifarious experiences... :-)
@lynn200 Thanks for dropping by, Lynn. My 'reveal' was a bit sudden, now that I look at it again. However, the event itself was sudden, so I guess I'm merely reflecting that. Anyhoo, I did want the end result to be as uplifting as possible, given the subject matter and I hope that the fun aspect of the time we all had with David, did resonate... :-)
Mr. B, a most poignant post. My condolences on the loss of your friend, and hopefully the kind words from many here at TIMJ provide some salve. Music is a medium for many of us here to express thoughts, feelings, emotions. Few, if any, express them better than you. Thanks for the jam.
@kfarrnd Thank you for those kind words, Kev. I've been rather taken aback by the response to this post. I did want to reflect on the life of my friend, through music, as it was also a very important aspect of David's life. We did share many musical influences and I'm absolutely certain, he'd have loved TIMJ. It's become clear to me over time on here, it truly is a great deal more than the 'noise'. Quite an experience and long may it continue. Thanks again for dropping by sir. I appreciate it...
@lynn200 Thanks Lynn. I appreciate everyone who makes the effort to make this whole sphere, more than a button pushing exercise. I know you do too. Plenty talking still to get through. Probably won't solve a darn thang, but we'll have some fun trying... ;-)
@21schizoid Ha! I think my levels of erudition are currently going downhill faster than Lizzie Yarnold on Mervyn. Rabbiting utter rubbish resonates with me. Good word 'resonate'. :-)
@21schizoid@BladeRunner I've always found TIMJ a very warm and friendly place - I've met some real diamonds on here - and Mr B's place is a good place to gather. Wishing your hubster well @heatherrings I don't think people understand depression too well still - that it's not something you can just snap out of . . .-
@lindatee Thanks Lindyloo. All welcome at Jamsta' Corner!! I think you're spot on with your point on depression. I don't believe non-sufferers can truly understand the complexities.
76 Comments (since 12 Feb 2014)
scobo2006
A sad tale Mr b hope Dave found his peace
Avante
That's a both heartwarming and terrible story. I agree with @scobo2006 I hope Dave found his peace. I also say; go for a proper shakedown! :)
21schizoid
@scobo2006 I hope so too, Scotty. The guy deserved it...
21schizoid
@Avante Thanks Birgy. I know for sure, wee Dave would definitely concur with your final sentiment... ;-)
21schizoid
@scobo2006 Btw, thank you sir...
Avante
:D
justangie
Very cool jam!
jovisgoesnuts
Love this and have jammed it myself in the past. Great jam.
heatherrings
So sorry to hear about Dave. Don't know what else to say. x
jovisgoesnuts
Following a brain hemorrhage I was badly depressed for an age. I was going to step in front of a train, and I'm forever grateful to the oldish man who just put his hand on my arm and suggested I didn't. I wish your friend Dave had been as lucky as me. http://jovisgoes.com/2014/01/31/he-remembers/
jovisgoesnuts
I hope that's not too much. Sorry.
heatherrings
@jovisgoesnuts @21schizoid My heart aches for those very near and dear to me who are, even now, being hounded by the black dog. Thanks for sharing your stories. We should never take anything or anyone for granted. Life is so precious and can be so fragile.
jovisgoesnuts
Thanks Heather.
heatherrings
@jovisgoesnuts :-) Hug x
lindatee
Oh - that's very sad - I hate to think of anybody so desparate and alone - and my heart bleeds .. .@jovisgoesnuts - I'm so pleased the touch of a stranger bought you back . . . your poem was beautifull and tragic : ) Big hugs to you all xx
lindatee
@21schizoid - I'm glad you put up a chirpy tune - I needed to hear something up lifting : )
florencevibert
Sublime jam, as usual! What you write, excellent Mr B. Big hug :-)
21schizoid
@justangie Cheers, Anj.. :-)
21schizoid
@lindatee @heatherrings @jovisgoesnuts I was completely unaware that David had any form of depression. I believe as many do, in public, he hid it brilliantly. I've since discovered from those closest to him, privately, there were many varied, though sometimes small signs. Thankfully, I can't get my mind where David's must have been, but as Joe I think alludes to, it was not a place of clarity. Joe, your writings are stunning. Thank you for guiding me there. Thanks for all your lovely words...xxx
21schizoid
@florencevibert Thank you Ms Florence. Hug right back... :-)
jovisgoesnuts
@21schizoid You're very kind.
curtywyshart
@21schizoid I just went through a very similar episode. One of my oldest friends decided that the perfect ending to his unwritten biography as a tortured artist was to go out with a bang. The problem here is that while he no longer has any worries, he leaves behind a trail of psychic debris for those who loved him. The only way to deal with loss is to remember the good times and not the bad. I know I'm rambling, but talking is good therapy.
curtywyshart
Sorry for your loss, but here at TIMJ you're not alone. Feel free to write one of your War And Peace length essays on my jam page any time.
myrtle
A very tragic story! A great tribute to your friend!
21schizoid
@curtywyshart Thanks Curty. When I attended David's funeral, I did sense a lot of underlying anger. He did leave behind a wife and two teenage kids, on all of whom, he doted. That in itself encapsulates the total misunderstanding, those of us who (thankfully) have never experienced depression, harbour. My take on Dave, was that he was 100% clear on his actions, but 100% unclear on his reasoning. He would never have committed that act, if he'd been thinking clearly of the overall consequences...
21schizoid
...so, that anger, was simply confusion and frustration. I think Joe @jovisgoesnuts is in a better place to guide us here and wonderfully, is here to tell the tale, so eloquently. You're right. Talking through these things is indeed, great therapy. TIMJ is more than a music posting site (certainly for me) and contact like this, proves my assertion. I truly appreciate your words and I hope you don't live to regret that kind invitation...I do ramble on a tad, don't I...;-)
21schizoid
@myrtle Thanks Myrts. David was an excellent fella and deserves a huge place in my memory...
21schizoid
@heatherrings a postscript...how right you are about the preciousness and fragility of life. We forget every day, but it's remarkable how, if we walk around with our hearts, minds, eyes and ears open, we'll receive daily reminders... x
21schizoid
@lindatee a postscript...I struggled a lot with the thought of David being so desperate and so alone, when giving up on life. However, I posted an upbeat toon, 'cos that's how I like to think of my friend. Those great, fun days will always be uppermost in my mind. That's how we all cope, I guess... x
jovisgoesnuts
@21schizoid ...just an extra thought. My illness and following depression were a one time ago and I've had illnesses since, heart related these days. Indeed I'm in my local hospital as I write this, awaiting the second of two MPI scans. One thing that I learned though, is that if you feel sad or down or you suffer from a prescribed form of depression, the best thing you can possibly do is talk about it, and the worst is bottle it up. Also, if you love someone, really love them.
jovisgoesnuts
...they are your best help and your greatest friend. I don't doubt for a second that my wife saved my life. Good luck and friendship to all of you.
daved
It's almost hard not to blame at least in part Scottish football and Scottish vitamin D free weather...,
21schizoid
@jovisgoesnuts Joe, you're a remarkable chap. Positively inspirational. More power to you my friend... and years of robust health!! :-)
21schizoid
@daved There speaks one of many, undone by weather, gravel rash and an aluminium stud under the shinpad on a baltic East Kilbride Saturday afternoon... :-)
natyblooming
oh. :(
21schizoid
@natyblooming Like I've said Natalia, although David's passing was and still is, incredibly sad and painful, I wanted to get it out there, so to speak and post a JoyJam. That's how he always appears in my thoughts... :-)
natyblooming
@21schizoid I know...just reminded me of someone...but yes, joyjam! :)
21schizoid
@natyblooming I posted this without any expectation that fellow Jamsters would want to comment, but it's been an amazing trip thus far. I know you've been through some 'stuff', though this is another branch of 'stuff'. In it's own wee way, this is what I love about the folks I follow on TIMJ. Yes, it's about the music, but it's way more than that and it explains why I like to say some bits&bobs; when I post. It's music Natalia, but not as we know it...;-)
natyblooming
@21schizoid I went though this same branch of stuff also :(
natyblooming
*through* but yes, it is what is great about TIMJ
VickyMB1970
Sir, great record and so glad to hear it -quite rightly- stirs up joyful memories for you of those happy times with your friend.
21schizoid
@VickyMB1970 Thanks Vic. Really appreciate your comments. It's a fine disc...I can see us all makin' a complete horlicks of ourselves on the dancefloor...plus ca change... ;-)
21schizoid
@natyblooming That makes it a major chord struck...and I suspected you might have (came to me just as I posted my last comment to you). You girly, are like Joe @jovisgoesnuts ... a bloomin' marvel!! :-)
natyblooming
@21schizoid I have had an interesting life...dynamic :) @jovisgoesnuts is a marvel! :)
cosmicdon
Sad about Dave Great jam.
21schizoid
@cosmicdon Thanks buddy. Appreciate that... :-)
21schizoid
@natyblooming It seldom seems dull, Nates! Glad you concur 'bout Mr Joe... :-)
psyclopstrees
sorry to hear about Dave sounds like you guy's shared great times together!
21schizoid
@psyclopstrees Indeed we did. I have a feeling there may be more music related lads tales to come in future. Cheers psyclo. Appreciate that... :-)
mikelowe
@21schizoid Sad story old friend - I'm sorry. But pleased you have some joyful memories to carry with you and a great "JoyJam" to fondly remember him... :-)
BladeRunner
@21schizoid Great song, and a beautiful way to celebrate a friend!
heatherrings
JoyJam - what a wonderful word. I can that becoming an oft used word on TIMJ. :-)
heatherrings
@21schizoid I wanted to reply immediately to your 'postscript' but I was at work at the time and couldn't respond. This is the first real opportunity I've had to catch up with all the other posts on here. I have found it all very moving.
heatherrings
@21schizoid My own dear Hubby has battled depression for years. And no, it's not because he has had to put up with me for the last 33 years....he's suffered since his teens, before he met me. He is, I think, I hope, coming out of a low period at the moment. It is upsetting and frustrating for us both when he is in a place when even his beloved HiFi and music don't interest him. I can do nothing other than be there for him, to listen and to love him.
heatherrings
@21schizoid I asked him if he would mind if I shared about him on here. His answer - "I don't mind if you mention depression, it's nothing to be ashamed about." I applaud him for that and agree with him. It is sad that for many it is a taboo subject. I want to thank you everyone else who has commented on here. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has found it a help and a comfort. Big hug xxx
21schizoid
@mikelowe Cheers Mikey. A positive fountain of excellent and hilarious memories. Always the best kind... :-)
21schizoid
@BladeRunner Thank you Jess. Celebration intended and I believe, achieved... :-)
21schizoid
@heatherrings Hey missus! As you can imagine, when I posted this, I didn't anticipate the response and even though TIMJ is music first, it's proven again to be a wee platform for all manner of things. For what it's worth, I had a feeling that something was not quite right for Hubs, but not for me or anyone else to pursue. He's right. Depression is 'nowt to be ashamed of. Seems to be, sadly, rather prevalent. Anyhoo, we're all one big group huddle...
21schizoid
@heatherrings...and it would appear, chums enough to share just about anything (in my case from past Jams, everybloominthing!) Everyone's been brilliant here and if I ever had doubts about the worth of this forum, they're most certainly gone...though I still reserve the right for occasional cave moments...thinking time!! Hope your boy's mojo is back real soon. Tell him from me, to spin those wheels of steel. I await the resultant Jam... ;-) xx
BladeRunner
@heatherrings Hope you don't mind that I'm commenting, I got very touched by what you wrote... I so agree with you, and I firmly believe that acknowledging something is one of the best attitudes we can have in order to deal with a situation like this. When we acknowledge it, we can act on it (at least is how I see...). Also agree on TIMJ! Could never believe it would grow so big on me - I'm thankful for so many great people (and songs) I came acrros here! =)x
heatherrings
@21schizoid Thank you! I will pass your message on to Hubs and encourage him to get jamming again. :-) xx
heatherrings
@21schizoid I hope there isn't a limit on the number of posts you can have per jam. I know I have been guilty sometimes of excessive chatter but half of Jamworld seems to congregate on your page. Which is rather nice. Your little tales obviously resonate with a lot of jammers. That or you have some extraordinary magnetic superpower. ;-) xx
heatherrings
@BladeRunner Thank you for your comments. I, too,have found TIMJ to be, on the whole, a very friendly place. It is lovely to be able to connect with some like minded people with whom you can enthuse about something - whether it be a song or a band or something else entirely (usually food in my case). Happy jamming! :-)
lynn200
youre obviously a few years below me..80s i worked!!! i do remember this track tho,havnt heard it for.....it did stick,so i did remember the words and enjoyed,but your words cast shadows,so my mind was back there* and another bit was enjoying your music....we all have them,the lucky ones get to forget...
lynn200
@daved thanks for that..if i was on FB,I could just press LIKE*
21schizoid
@heatherrings Me? Magnetic superpower?? Ha! I rather like that!! I prefer to think my high levels of erudition, lure like-minded intellectuals to my Jam Portal...actually, folks just can't believe the utter rubbish I write, so they feel duty bound to respond! Whatever the reason may be, I love it that ma' Jamsters feel they can 'rabbit' on any subject over here & if we're all laughing or crying, we do it as a group of music lovers, who also have very real lives & multifarious experiences... :-)
21schizoid
@lynn200 Thanks for dropping by, Lynn. My 'reveal' was a bit sudden, now that I look at it again. However, the event itself was sudden, so I guess I'm merely reflecting that. Anyhoo, I did want the end result to be as uplifting as possible, given the subject matter and I hope that the fun aspect of the time we all had with David, did resonate... :-)
kfarrnd
Mr. B, a most poignant post. My condolences on the loss of your friend, and hopefully the kind words from many here at TIMJ provide some salve. Music is a medium for many of us here to express thoughts, feelings, emotions. Few, if any, express them better than you. Thanks for the jam.
lynn200
you have a a very willing audience, enjoy
21schizoid
@kfarrnd Thank you for those kind words, Kev. I've been rather taken aback by the response to this post. I did want to reflect on the life of my friend, through music, as it was also a very important aspect of David's life. We did share many musical influences and I'm absolutely certain, he'd have loved TIMJ. It's become clear to me over time on here, it truly is a great deal more than the 'noise'. Quite an experience and long may it continue. Thanks again for dropping by sir. I appreciate it...
21schizoid
@lynn200 Thanks Lynn. I appreciate everyone who makes the effort to make this whole sphere, more than a button pushing exercise. I know you do too. Plenty talking still to get through. Probably won't solve a darn thang, but we'll have some fun trying... ;-)
heatherrings
@21schizoid Ha! I think my levels of erudition are currently going downhill faster than Lizzie Yarnold on Mervyn. Rabbiting utter rubbish resonates with me. Good word 'resonate'. :-)
21schizoid
@heatherrings Haha. As you know darling, I'm full of it...erudition, that is... ;-)
lindatee
@21schizoid @BladeRunner I've always found TIMJ a very warm and friendly place - I've met some real diamonds on here - and Mr B's place is a good place to gather. Wishing your hubster well @heatherrings I don't think people understand depression too well still - that it's not something you can just snap out of . . .-
21schizoid
@lindatee Thanks Lindyloo. All welcome at Jamsta' Corner!! I think you're spot on with your point on depression. I don't believe non-sufferers can truly understand the complexities.
BladeRunner
@21schizoid @lindatee very well said!