If I may say something Birgitta... Let yourself feel whatever comes up, we can only get to some kind of forgiveness after experiencing what comes "in the middle", we gotta aknowledge whatever is in there, so we can move on. Eventually we end up realizing that most of times 'forgiveness' means letting go a huge burden off our own backs.
Intense and truthfull jam. Sending a big hug your way
my condolences. death opens up many emotions... many sad and challenging, but some profoundly enlightening and uplifting. a complex relationship certainly portends a complex mourning. sounds like you are dealing with it. music always helps.
Your feelings are what they are. They are yours they are true. Never apologize for them. Being true to yourself is important & in quiet moments of repose only you understand the complexity of what you feel & where it comes from. Sometimes we feel the need to to canonize the dead - we elevate their final act & ignore the years that lead up 2 the moment. We can love them with our WHOLE heart & still ache because of the pain of wasted time or words never said. FORGIVE 4 You. When u r ready.
My condolences too. I'm sorry your grandmother wasn't able to give you the unconditional love that we should all hope to receive from our families and which we should try to give in return.
You will forgive. Love is so complicated. We love without asking for something in return most of the time. But at some moments of our lives we need it. We certainly have it but not the way we want it or we see it. That might be the most difficult to share. But we share, Birgitta. We share love and life. My condolescences to you and your family. I hope that you will soon find peace of mind and the answers to your questions. Send you good vibes as I can't give you a big hug. Courage dear Birgitta!
Thank you Birgitta for such a powerful and emotive message. It's very brave of you to share such personal feelings with us here on TIMJ but I'm sure that I speak for everyone in saying that my heart goes out to you with your 'mixed' emotional feelings.....My sincere condolences and like some others here, a big hug for you, Birgitta x.
Profound words for your grandmother, I'm sure she loved you in her own way, but sometimes people just can't pass that on to those whom they love the most. You just have to know that you did the best you could and take some time to heal. Hugs and gentle music in the meantime...
20 Comments (since 22 Feb 2015)
BladeRunner
If I may say something Birgitta... Let yourself feel whatever comes up, we can only get to some kind of forgiveness after experiencing what comes "in the middle", we gotta aknowledge whatever is in there, so we can move on. Eventually we end up realizing that most of times 'forgiveness' means letting go a huge burden off our own backs. Intense and truthfull jam. Sending a big hug your way
TragicBeauty
my condolences. death opens up many emotions... many sad and challenging, but some profoundly enlightening and uplifting. a complex relationship certainly portends a complex mourning. sounds like you are dealing with it. music always helps.
SheRa
Your feelings are what they are. They are yours they are true. Never apologize for them. Being true to yourself is important & in quiet moments of repose only you understand the complexity of what you feel & where it comes from. Sometimes we feel the need to to canonize the dead - we elevate their final act & ignore the years that lead up 2 the moment. We can love them with our WHOLE heart & still ache because of the pain of wasted time or words never said. FORGIVE 4 You. When u r ready.
SheRa
My deepest condolences.
DavidShepherd
My condolences too. I'm sorry your grandmother wasn't able to give you the unconditional love that we should all hope to receive from our families and which we should try to give in return.
MyBlueElephant
You will forgive. Love is so complicated. We love without asking for something in return most of the time. But at some moments of our lives we need it. We certainly have it but not the way we want it or we see it. That might be the most difficult to share. But we share, Birgitta. We share love and life. My condolescences to you and your family. I hope that you will soon find peace of mind and the answers to your questions. Send you good vibes as I can't give you a big hug. Courage dear Birgitta!
debutch
Thank you Birgitta for such a powerful and emotive message. It's very brave of you to share such personal feelings with us here on TIMJ but I'm sure that I speak for everyone in saying that my heart goes out to you with your 'mixed' emotional feelings.....My sincere condolences and like some others here, a big hug for you, Birgitta x.
Brownpants
Sincerest condolences Birgitta, and with that my hopes that you find peace within yourself over this. Big hugs to you. xxx
mikelowe
So sorry to hear that news Birgitta. A hug for you x
myrtle
A very sad time for you! A hug from me too x
melissapulo
Thinking of you at this difficult time... x
philipnareike
Thinking of you during this emotional time....glad you found a little peace
Astromonkey
Families, eh? *hugs* xx
ada23
My condolences.Love is always complicated.Big hug for you!
pez
Adding mine to the pile of virtual hugs you're receiving! All shall be well ...
teen
Profound words for your grandmother, I'm sure she loved you in her own way, but sometimes people just can't pass that on to those whom they love the most. You just have to know that you did the best you could and take some time to heal. Hugs and gentle music in the meantime...
brianberrington
No speech, just condolences, x.
Avante
@debutch @Brownpants @mikelowe @myrtle @melissapulo @philipnareike @Astromonkey @ada23 @pez @brianberrington @teen @MyBlueElephant @DavidShepherd @SheRa @TragicBeauty @BladeRunner Thank you for all your comments.. They've meant a lot to me. I know that if I'm honest the likelihood of other people being honest increases and that makes everything easier. We end up having real conversations about real things...
Avante
@debutch @Brownpants @mikelowe @myrtle @melissapulo @philipnareike @Astromonkey @ada23 @pez @brianberrington @teen @MyBlueElephant @DavidShepherd @SheRa @TragicBeauty @BladeRunner ...We feel what we feel and love is sometimes complicated... lull-lull gets in the way. Things we have to deal with to get down to the root of i all. I am sure things will be fine. Thank you once again. xx
MadameZia
Trust me when I say you will eventually find an inner peace with it all x x