Distressed. Recently learned of the tragic passing of a lighting hand I worked with in Berlin back in the 90's . I had heard that it was due to a motor boarding accident (?) but I had misheard.  Dieter, it seems, was starved for the maternal affection he apparently never received and this loss festered into a very odd kink : he was in the habit of hiring a dozen or so very matronly appearing mothers to tenderly weep over him, over his face, while giving him reassuring pats and caresses. Had to be real & falling tears, though. The friend he confided in said that it calmed and relaxed him. In time weeping no longer was  good enough. Too light. He wanted a torrent of fat and weighty tears! To this end he procured onions to stimulate same. He was then awash in HONEY THICK TEARS and,inevitably,ROPEY SNOT. He ultimately drowned."Mother Boarding" is what it actually was, a kind of amniotic lighter fluid. Alas, poor Dieter. RIP.   6

whiffoself 30 Apr 2015